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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The right way to break a date

Sorry I have missed you, but life has been busy. I wanted to take a minute and talk about breaking dates. This morning I received a text from a "friend" I hadn't heard from in awhile. May I start by saying what a wonderful surprise. Definitely the right way to start the 1st day back to work after a three day weekend. We exchanged a few niceties and a little "sexting", which led to a scheduled rendevouz for this evening, because as you know absence makes the heart grow fonder, or is that the panties wetter? What ever the case we were scheduled to meet this evening. I was to text him the address about a half hour before the scheduled meet time. BUUUUTTT, when I texted, he replied that he was very sorry he could not make it as he was at an unplanned family function and could we please reschedule. This was disappointing, however I absolutely no problem 1. forgiving him and 2. rescheduling. Here are my reasons. 1. He answered my text timely. There was no long wait, while wondering, did he get my text? did he blow me off? Nope simply a quick reply, telling me he couldn't make it. 2. He was apologetic. Whether he meant it or not, (I am inclined to think he did) he took the time to ask for forgiveness and stated that he was sorry. How polite. Wow! The last reason came from my friend but I quite agree. All of the above happened BEFORE I wasted my time taking a 2nd shower and all of the other additional nice things you should do to prepare for a gentleman caller. We have now rescheduled and I cannot wait.

Here are some bad ways to break a date: Mind you I have personally experienced everyone of them. Schedule a date and time then when a young lady calls to tell you she is on her way, say "Oh...yeah.. well... uh... I'm not home right now can we push it back an hour or so. The answer to that is FUCK NO! Oh and thanks for this being that important to you, and by the way I will remember that the next time you call or text and tell me how much you miss me. There is also the wonderful, we schedule a date and a half hour after you are supposed to show, you finally answer my text saying, "I'm so sorry baby I don't feel well and... well I just thought you would figure I wasn't coming when you didn't hear from me". No I didn't just figure you weren't coming. Just because this is a date for, to put it bluntly, fucking, doesn't NOT mean you are now absolved of all manners. There is also the no call, no show, don't answer my call or text. You better be dead or in the hospital if you have the balls to call me again. So now I have explained the correct and incorrect ways to break a date. When in doubt just think common courtesy. If you would call and explain it to anyone one else, you should do so for the person you are trying to lay. Make to many willing women angry, and you may never get laid again.